Run Chapter 1

I have been trying to sell this story to a publishing agent for a long time and I am starting to loose hope. I think it is just not sellable. If that is the case it is a tragedy because I think it is well written. Biased? Me? Lol. Here is the beginning of it. I hope whoever stumbles across my blog is interested enough and has the time to sit and read through the latest three posts. Any serious feedback or opinions posted in the comments would be most apreciated. x
The first chapter :

Fred Davis and I have been watching this house for the last hour, but it feels like at least triple that. Our other companion, Malcolm O’Leary is sat behind the wheel, his left elbow casually leaning on the cranked down window and if I know him his eyes are scanning the darkened street in front of the car, his senses alert.


I snap the cuff of one of the latex gloves I’m wearing against my wrist, listening to the sounds of the warm breeze rustling the leaves in the trees and distant sirens that are drifting into the car. Thoughts of Chrissie fill my mind. Her pretty, smiling face, the way her blonde curls fall, her creamy skin. A sigh escapes my lips and Davis turns to look at me.

I check my watch. Miles Joseph left for work about ten minutes ago. I think it’s safe to strike now. Glancing around the deserted street I give Davis the signal to step out of the car.

O’Leary stays put as we cross the street, creeping round to the back door of the Joseph house.

Ignoring the tabby cat stalking something I can’t see rustling in the long grass on the back lawn, I shove my elbow through the window in door and the glass shatters noisily.

Startled, both the cat and its prey scatter.

Putting a gloved hand carefully through the opening, I turn the catch and the tumblers fall open.

Davis follows me inside, glass crunching under our feet.

The kitchen is shrouded in darkness and all is quiet, apart from the steady tick tock of the large circular clock on the kitchen wall keeping time and the hum of the refrigerator.

The back door clicks shut behind Davis.

There is no light beyond the kitchen doorway. Creeping into the front hall, I peer into the lounge. This room is also dark and devoid of life.

“Where is she?” Davis whispers in my ear.

I shrug my shoulders and move towards the foot of the stairs, nearly falling over a pair of high heel shoes that have been left strewn across the bottom step.

“Up there!” I hiss to him, spying a faint light upstairs.

I creep up the stairs, closely followed by Davis. A step near the top creaks loudly and there is a noise from one of the rooms upstairs, but my steady pace doesn’t falter.

At the top of the stairs there are several doors in the hallway. The nearest one is open a crack and there is light shining round the door.

I push the door open, but the room is empty.

“There’s nobody here.” I say, turning to look at Davis.

“Well she can’t have gone far.” He comes into the room behind me and points at the open book lying face down on the bed.

I walk over to a pair of large double door on the opposite wall and throw them open.

“Hello Mrs Joseph!” I grin at the terrified woman before me.

She stares at me, her grey eyes wide and fearful and her face a picture of shocked horror.

“W-who are you?” She stutters, her eyes flicking between my face and where Davis is stood over my shoulder. “What d-do you want?”

“It’s time to come out of the closet.” Davis says, now standing close behind me.

Marie’s hands are clutched tightly under her breasts and I notice there is something beneath her hands. She sees me looking and spreads her fingers, trying to keep whatever it is concealed.

“What have you got there?” I question, yanking at her hands.

“Just take what you came for and leave!” Marie cries out.

“I don’t think you need to be calling anybody.” I smile, pushing the disconnect button and handing the cordless phone to Davis. My smile is cold and unfeeling.

“We’re here for you!” Davis whispers to her.

Her expression turns into a mask of pure terror.

“No!” She calls out and backs further into the closet.

“You a party girl, baby?” I question, my eyes surveying her body and a smile on my lips. She is wearing a silky nightgown and it’s kinda sexy.

“Oh I think she is!” Davis grins.

“What do you want with me?” Marie questions.

“You’re coming with us, right now.” Davis says, pointing his gun at her.

I grab her by the arm and lead her towards the bedroom door, my gun tight in her side.

“If you co-operate, maybe we’ll be nice.” I whisper in her ear.

“You’re making a big mistake!” She responds.

We lead her down the stairs and out the back door.

“Ow!” She gasps. “I think I cut my feet.”

“Keep quiet and we won’t bind you up and stick you in the trunk!” I feel a chill run down her arm at this.

“Get in!” Davis whispers to her.

She sits in the back with me and Davis climbs in beside O’Leary.

“What took you two so fucking long?” He questions, tersely.

“Where are you taking me?” Marie whispers.

“You’ll find out when we get there.” O’Leary snaps, driving away from her house.

Davis points his gun at Marie, as I wrap some duck tape round her wrists.

“What are you doing?” She gasps.

“It’s a safety precaution.” I smile at her, slicing through the tape and letting the roll fall back underneath Davis’ seat.

“My husband is a police officer.” Marie says her tone hardening. “If you hurt me, you’ll be dead before you can say ‘I want a lawyer.’ The department looks after its own.”

“We know who your husband is.” Davis responds.

“And when we are done with you.” I add, leaning in close and dropping my voice. “We are going to see to it that the only person Officer Joseph talks to is the undertaker.”