Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Thanks, Daemon fairy. My boyfriend does not have the same anger issues, but there is a host of issues all of our own. For starters my parents don't even like him! So it is difficult for us to be together. And I have intimacy issues with him. I love sex and everything, but I just never want to do it with him. We do fine together now though apart from the fact I never want to do it with him. I'll be fine. I am really tired today. I can't write more right now, too tired. I'm just drained. I want more than anything to be happy and for my sons to be happy. My parents think that my kids are better off here with them because I am not a fit mother alone. They have not said so much in those words but have managed to imply that. It does wonders for my already low confidence in my parenting skills. I said to my parents a while back that I was seriously considering moving out. I had been bidding on council properties on the housing list. My parents didn't like the idea they don't think I'm ready. It is good having them around because they help care for my sons, but the trade off is putting up with the abuse. I want to seek outside help but I don't think there is anyone I can go to about this. Nobody cares that much.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

what does it matter what your parents think? if you want to be with him that's your choice. if you want to move out, that's your choice too. it seems like you just do whatever your parents tell you to whether it is what you want or not, or even if it is good for your children or not.

the intimacy issues you have with you bf need to be worked on. you need to talk to him about it. i assume that he's not awful in bed, physically repulsive or abusive or anything, so then it's really all in your head. communication is everything. don't be afraid to talk to him about sex! maybe you should both think about seeing a sex therapist or something?

there are always people who can help. your local social services will probably have a mums support group or something? perhaps your local CAB can help? i think maybe you should go for self-assertiveness classes (i did and it helped me a lot with my issues)
it helps to have someone to talk to (a close friend, a counsellor or even a family member you can trust)

anyway, just my 2p's worth, sorry if i'm overstepping the mark.
be safe
[hug]